Life Lessons of a 30-Something

Why are we so afraid of turning 30?  Most of my friends dreaded turning 30 and even made heaving noises when that milestone birthday approached.  Just a bit dramatic...  For some, turning 30 means officially bidding farewell to your "youth" and Hola! to the senior citizen discount.  Society brainwashes us to think that in our 20s, we must attain a certain level of social and financial prosperity in order to be labeled "successful" - whatever the hell that word means.  If we aren't at that "certain place" in life by the time we hit 30, we might as well walk off the edge of the building now because "if you haven't made it by 30, then you haven't made it at all," right?

Our generation of 30-somethings should redefine what turning 30 means in the present.  I would argue that prior generations lived an easier and simpler life, but that for us 30-somethings today, life is waaaaaay more complicated, competitive and pressured.  We aren't repeating what past generations have done (and there's nothing wrong with that), so why should we be compared to the expectations of the past?  Easy answer - we shouldn't.  Times have changed.  People have evolved.  Everyone's life experience is different and no one person is better than another.  We all travel on our own journey, make decisions (good and bad) and have to live the life that best reflects who we are.  

I fully embraced turning 30 and, for the most part, what came with it - weird body aches and all.  Actually, that part sucked.  I didn't have the "What have I done with my life?" moment because I was  pretty much happy with where I was and where I am in life; although, part of this false sense of happiness has been fulfilled by society's superficial expectations of me.  I'm "happy" because I've satisfied that part of myself that is defined by what I "should" be doing and I've complacently complied.  I still see room for self improvement because I don't believe I'm as spiritual, well-traveled and as mastered in the ways of the world as I'd like to be, but we all define the world around us in different ways and each have our own versions of reality.

I'm posting this blog a few days after my 31st birthday as I have been able to positively reflect on the past year in my 30-year-old body.  I feel like I've learned a lot, had some life-changing experiences and gathered a few life lessons along the way.  Maybe some of you have already learned what I recently picked up, but I'd like to share them with you anyway.

Time flies by as you get older

I don't know about you, but time seems to be passing A LOT quicker than it did in the past.  Maybe it's because life is busier and we're doing things all of the time, but I can still remember my 23rd birthday like it was last week.

Life isn't about making everyone happy

Because you can't make everyone happy.  We only have control over ourselves and no one else.  Just do you.

Who cares what other people think about you

Another toughie, but as I age, I care less and less about other's opinions.  No one else is in my shoes except for myself, so someone else's opinions about me or what I should be doing is redundant.  As the saying goes, opinions are like assholes - everyone's got one.  

People are fickle and unreliable

I can always rely on people to disappoint me time and time again, unless it's my mother - she's always there for me <3

You need to give yourself more self-love

The only person who can really take care of you is you.  Give yourself time to do what you want and what makes you happy.  No one else will really have your back in this regard, so don't ignore #1.

Continue to keep an open mind 

We can only continue to grow spiritually, mentally and physically when we open our minds and logic to that which we do not know, understand or even like.  

Purge toxic people from your life

Ain't nobody got time for vampires in their lives who suck all of the life, energy, passion and happiness from them.  Leave them in the sun to burn.

It's OK to say "no"

This one is still tough because we don't want to disappoint others, but in doing so, we sometimes end up shortchanging ourselves.  Even though I might want to say "yes!" to something, I force myself to say "no" so I can have more me time...on the couch...in my yoga pants...sipping some OJ.

Embrace your past

I spent a lot of time purposefully avoiding my past for selfish reasons, but I've been learning that the past really defines who we are.  Today, I embrace who I was, what I did and those I met along the way.  That little surfer girl in me couldn't stay hidden any longer...

I will embrace 31 and all that becoming a 30-something has to offer me in this wondrous, beautiful, yet oh-so-damn complicated world.  If I'm learning all of this at 31, I can only imagine what I haven't learned and life lessons still to come.  Maybe I'll finally learn the truth about how long my gum really lives in my stomach after I accidentally swallow it!  ;)

Peace and be a 30-something AF!

<3 B